With apologies to Groucho, Harry Ruby, Bert Kalmar, and Grover Jones, I can tell you now what the President was singing at his private dinner last month with his present and prospective advisors [during the duck soup course, of course.]
If any form of pleasure is exhibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited.
I'll put my foot down; So shall it be -
This is the land of the free.
The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it.
If you think this country's bad off now
Just wait 'till I get through with it.
[President dances with his wife to the sailor's hornpipe]
The treasury is low on dough;
The last man went and flew with it.
If you think we're short of money now
Just wait 'till I get through with it.
[President dances a Highland fling with Mrs Teasdale]
The country's taxes must be fixed -
And I know what to do with it,
If you think you're paying too much now,
Just wait 'till I get through with it.
[The President takes a ney [arabic flute] from his inside pocket and plays an Arab waltz]
It is now a month later. Does anyone really doubt the veracity of this report?
